Monday, January 12, 2009

Discouraging News ~ Posted by Deanna

As I spent the entire day outside yesterday, I I awoke this morning to find the following e-mail that Dr. Schmidt had sent yesterday afternoon:

Hi Deanna,

As I think I told you I posted Trixie’s tumor photo and histopathology results on VIN (Veterinary Information Network). I wanted a consultation as to prognosis and treatment for this type of tumor. Two boarded veterinary oncologists responded.

Unfortunately, the consensus is that this is a pretty bad type of tumor. It has a very high rate of metastasizing to other organs. It tends to be more aggressive than the more common skeletal form of osteosarcoma.

Chemotherapy can help slow the tumor down, but it is not curative. Chemotherapy would consist of 3-4 doses of a potent drug called Adriamycin three weeks apart. My best estimate would be that she could live another 3-5 months with chemotherapy.

Sorry to be so pessimistic and gloomy, but this does not look encouraging.


Jeff Schmidt, DVM
Arbor View Veterinary Clinic

My reply to our doctor and friend:

Dr. Schmidt,

Thank you so much for your research efforts - very discouraging, but understandable.

Due significantly to our financial situation, we will choose not to employ chemotherapy. Besides, that doesn't buy much time and the side effects are another concern. If we had it to do again, I'm not sure we would have put DeeDee through the chemo.

If nothing else, Trixie feels greatly better for at least the time being. As her surgical scars heal, she has become even more lively and animated than upon arrival. We will simply shower her with love (and Essiac) and take it one day at a time.

* heavy sigh *

Sincerely, we thank you enormously for everything you do on our behalf.

While I truly believe in the power of intention and have begun to Essiac regimine, I have to admit I cried. Trixie is so happy and energetic and ALIVE right now. But perhaps that is what it is all about. Quality not quantity.

I have to admit that my emotions seem to be out of whack sometimes. I haven't decided exactly why ~ all of the losses we've experienced, the sometimes gruesome details we deal with, the fact that I have been actively attempting to mature from the emotional young woman I once was (self-help is my main interest and I have listened to hundreds [literally] of audio books), or the fact that I am simply aging and approaching another, interesting phase in a woman's life ~ most likely a mix of those things. I don't cry at times that I think I really should and do cry when I know it won't help anything. And when I do cry, I cry for everything in recent history and it feels like a luxury to let it loose. It sometimes moves into anger. All of those "Why" questions...

WHY is this sweet, loving and grateful pup who has so many friends and people pulling for her experiencing such a situation while someone like Charles Manson continues to live on and on, costing us all year after year, like it or not. A boss once told me that the "Fair" only comes once a year, and that is in August. I know better than to even use the word. We've all seen the corrupt profit and the truly good struggle and suffer.

How can I take it gracefully? Sometimes I just can't. But I won't express my sadness, anger or frustration around the girl. She will receive only the best I have to offer. I wish I had a photo of her last night, recumbent on my lap, allowing (and enjoying) my fingers to softly stroke her tummy and gently trace the outlines of the incision. Loving and blessing the good work that has been done. She is grateful. I feel it.

As Guy so eloquently summarized, they take what they are dealt incredibly well.

I'm done crying. For now, all is very, very well. She is doing great RIGHT NOW. I joked with Woody last night that Trixie had a radical mastectomy and is a Breast Cancer Survivor (well, we're working on it, anyway).

A Wreath for Trixie

Playing with Uncle Guy Today

1 comment:

wonder dog rescue said...

I LOVE that video!!! She looks SO very happy.... Deanna, I'll phone you soon to talk about the essiac.

much love to you all!